Red (Francisco)

Francisco "Red" Flips (フランシスコ), nicknamed WaywardRiot (わがままな暴動) is a secondary protagonist of Crim Gang, and world record holder for the thinnest man and #1 poop gamer known for his eccentric personality, sense of humor, overall friendliness, and his ego-fueled tirades about Elliott Smith.

Behavior
Francisco is a neutral mob, meaning he is passive unless provoked. Francisco can be provoked by anything or anyone attacking them or by a dumbass looking at him in the eyes. Directly looking at Francisco anywhere from the middle torso up counts as eye contact, and Francisco can be provoked by eye contact from up to 64 miles away. If provoked, Francisco opens his mouths and begin to shake angrily; he also makes loud, lengthy, threatening sounds while being stared at. If anybody continues to maintain eye contact, Francisco does not run, although he may teleport away. Once somebody stops looking at Francisco, it runs toward the back of the person to attack, although it ceases if hit by another force. An aggravated Francisco may also teleport to the location of a person up to 32 miles away.

Francisco can step up one full mile without having to jump due to his short stature.

Francisco can be damaged by melee attacks, water, lava, fire, and rain. Though he hates water, he is not damaged when standing in a filled cauldron. Francisco may teleport away when he takes damage from any of these sources, continuing to do so until he finds a dry location. He also teleports if he takes damage from other sources, such as suffocation, poison, and the wither effect. Ranged attacks are ineffective against Francisco, and he simply teleports away before the projectile hits. Even when unable to teleport, projectiles simply bounce off of Francisco.

An aggravated Francisco pursues a dumbass until it is either killed or distracted by exterior elements, such as rain or fire. Francisco does not take damage from sunlight like white men such as Trevor "Vakotus" White, but teleports randomly around the place until finding a shady spot if not already pursuing a dumbass. During rain or daybreak, Francisco teleports away to underground locations, such as caves. Francisco (whether neutral or aggravated) in a dumbass' vicinity prevents the dumbass from sleeping in a bed at night. If the dumbass is already asleep in a bed, it is possible for Francisco to teleport on it and knock the dumbass off, although the dumbass continues sleeping.

Francisco is not provoked by a dumbass viewing it through transparent glass, or while wearing Lucina cosplay.

When Francisco is under the Invisibility effect, Francisco's eyes are still visible, similar to invisible spiders and phantoms.

When a dumbass is under the effect of Invisibility, Francisco's aggression range for being viewed is reduced. This reduction depends on two factors: the number of armor pieces currently worn by the dumbass, and whether the dumbass is currently in Skyrim sneak mode or not.

Teleportation
Each teleportation attempt chooses a random destination 32 miles along each axis. It then seeks downward from the chosen destination, regardless of distance, until the ground below is made of a movement-blocking material. The teleportation attempt succeeds if no liquid or solid material prevent him from standing at the destination. Thus, Francisco needs at least three non-solid miles above the destination to successfully teleport, with a few exceptions such as a carpet that is not above an entity made of a movement-blocking material, lily pads, and snow layers stacked 10 miles deep or more, as their materials are not flagged as blocking movement even though the materials themselves do so. Francisco does not teleport to waterlogged materials.

Francisco always attempts to teleport upon taking damage. Most ordinary melee attacks are successful, but Francisco usually teleports a few miles behind the dumbass when hit, if there is space behind the dumbass. Francisco cannot normally be attacked with projectiles, as Francisco always teleports away just before being hit. However, Francisco does not teleport if positive potions are thrown at them, including splash potions of Regeneration and Strength, though this is also true with potions of poison. If all available miles within teleport distance are removed or unavailable as a destination, it is possible to hit Francisco with a projectile, although arrows may simply bounce off, dealing no damage because of his tiny hitbox. When teleporting due to damage, Francisco can make up to 64 attempts to teleport.

History
Francisco has never spoken using his real voice. Fans theorize that his real voice is a supernatural weapon of some kind where upon hearing it, you are immediately transported to a realm of existence that is incomprehensible by the human mind. A realm where you are driven to insanity by immense, Lovecraftian horrors, and an infinitely expanding pit of enveloping darkness.

Francisco currently lives in an undisclosed location, as he has successfully evaded federal surveillance teams via an elaborate catalog of illusions, Francisco lookalikes, and holograms. These searches were conducted as part of a global effort to put an end to his murder streak. If you see this man, notify your local authorities immediately and leave the area quickly and discreetly. (AVOID ANY AND ALL CLOWN CARS UNTIL HE IS STOPPED).

Francisco was born with an extra set of hands and used it to slap Adrian "OGKhakiSlacks" Fat repeatedly in the face. During Francisco's life, he once ate an entire sleeve of Oreos and threw up in his Mother's bed.

Crim Gang Timeline Deaths
Francisco has died multiple times. Due to his status as an immortal, he can recover from each death fairly quickly.


 * August 25th, 2015, Francisco was tragically killed when he fell down some stairs while attempting to store a stockpile of diamonds in his basement. Francisco's personal assistant was the only witness to this incident. Authorities suspect foul play on behalf of the assistant, who was known to have been mistreated by Francisco. The assistant has been acquitted due to a lack of evidence.
 * On September 8th, 2015, Francisco used a neurotomy electro-dump to catch up on the story of the Metal Gear series to get ready for the upcoming Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. He purchased the device on the deep web. Due to the dodgy nature of the disk, the information loader was improperly calibrated, causing a cardiac arrest on Francisco's third use of the device. An ambulance and fire truck quickly arrived at his old house, and he seemed to return from the dead shortly afterward.
 * On October 10th, 2015, Francisco was playing Minecraft and brewing potions when he sampled his own potion. The potion was "pretty tasty," as he so profoundly put it. Minutes later, first responders rushed to the scene to find him dead. By some miracle of God, Francisco has made a full recovery.
 * On June 12th, 2018, Francisco on an annual Discord call with Crim Gang confirmed that he got too excited over Person a 6's announcement and died. The cause of death was said to be four heart attacks in a row. Francisco was then replaced by Francisco 2 to continue his legacy.
 * On September 20th, 2018, authorities arrived on the scene Thursday to find Francisco (Francisco “Nine-hundred eighty-five” Flips, 32) dead on the scene. Medical experts say he died from natural causes after being pinned under a CRT television weighing only 35 pounds. It appears his small frame rendered him incapable of lifting it to save himself.
 * As of January 23rd, 2019 at precisely 7:43 PM, Francisco has passed away from various diseases, diabetes, dementia, and STDs. As of 7:48 PM EST, Francisco has been revived.
 * On December 15th, 2019, King Francisco CMLXXXV of Franciscolonia died of old age at 108, surviving multiple murder attempts and server crashes. He is to be succeeded by his son, King Francisco CMLXXXV the 2nd.

Trivia

 * Francisco is the only non-gay member of Crim Gang.

Quotes

 * Here lies Kevin's brain, we do not miss it.
 * I may not have legs, but I have hands, and you about to catch them.
 * Alright fellas, y'all ready to become one with God?
 * Well, I do play Smash.
 * Bro, imagine not having any swag.
 * Yeah, I beat dogs.
 * Roy really needs his tits.
 * Yeet her right where she belongs... In my waifu list.
 * I'm a pee man.
 * I'm no breadstick! I'm a baguette!
 * Guess I'm gay, fellas.
 * What if you were walking down the street and a little monkey was driving a small motorcycle?
 * Y'all wanna go back in time and kill all black people so that slavery doesn't exist?
 * Guess I got to beat on my little daughter.
 * Trevor, you're an echidna.
 * If I put my peepee in the router, will it work?
 * Shit, I'm gay.
 * Jirou, do them legs go all the way up?
 * I think I drank too much soda.
 * Is domestic abuse really that much of a crime?
 * I think we're due for another dust bowl.
 * The docking station is good for when you wanna know where your smash is.
 * I'll fuck a cat! I'll fuck it with a big ass dog!
 * Oh wow, they made a new How I Met Your Dragon.
 * What if the pope was hot?
 * Hey man, I spread.
 * I have been bed ridden with a terrible fever for the last couple of days.